This video teaches us what aliens are and what to do if ever we have close harsh encounters with them.... enjoy!!!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Lord of the Rings! Cool Ending...
This is a better way to end things up... View this video and you'll know why. :-)
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Call Center Booboos
I HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY THIS ONE
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO
MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:
1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the
Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a
pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you
have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I
wrote 'click'."
--------------------------------------------------
2) Customer: "I received the software update you
sent, but I am still getting the same error
message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to
get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing
Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me
what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and
Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your
software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side
of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button
displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from
there?"
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you
have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
--------------------------------------------------
7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
--------------------------------------------------
8.)Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me
at the grocery store."
--------------------------------------------------
9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you
running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
--------------------------------------------------
10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed
an illegal abortion."
--------------------------------------------------
11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
--------------------------------------------------
12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
--------------------------------------------------
13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I
urgently need to print document, but the computer
won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system
disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a
floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's
an Intel inside."
--------------------------------------------------
14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a
problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO
MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:
1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the
Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a
pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you
have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I
wrote 'click'."
--------------------------------------------------
2) Customer: "I received the software update you
sent, but I am still getting the same error
message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to
get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing
Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me
what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and
Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your
software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side
of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button
displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from
there?"
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you
have?"
Customer:: "A white one."
--------------------------------------------------
7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"
--------------------------------------------------
8.)Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me
at the grocery store."
--------------------------------------------------
9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you
running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
--------------------------------------------------
10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed
an illegal abortion."
--------------------------------------------------
11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
--------------------------------------------------
12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
--------------------------------------------------
13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I
urgently need to print document, but the computer
won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system
disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a
floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's
an Intel inside."
--------------------------------------------------
14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a
problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
Only A Few Can Understand
Do ya know how to ride a vicycle? .... lol!!!
What he meant above is faucet... he he he
What he meant above is bed sheet. Wahahahaha!!!
Sweat Shirt again... :-)
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Testing Your Innocence
TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
CHECK THE EXPLANATION BELOW.
YOU'LL FIND THIS VERY INTERESTING.
You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?
Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.
What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture!
So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child... now... If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupt and you probably need help, you sicko!
Ok, here's help.... look at the space between her right arm and her head, the tail is on her neck, follow it up. look at her left hip, follow the shaded part down, it's another one, and on his shoulder..... see them now?
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
CHECK THE EXPLANATION BELOW.
YOU'LL FIND THIS VERY INTERESTING.
You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?
Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.
What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture!
So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child... now... If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupt and you probably need help, you sicko!
Ok, here's help.... look at the space between her right arm and her head, the tail is on her neck, follow it up. look at her left hip, follow the shaded part down, it's another one, and on his shoulder..... see them now?
Natl. Hero of the Phils. (replaced?)
FLASH NEWS!!!!! Jose Rizal will be replaced as our National Hero after July 02, 2006....
Herewith is the picture of the man who will replace him.... MANNY "PACMAN" PACQUIAO HEHEHEHE.............joke only.....;)
Herewith is the picture of the man who will replace him.... MANNY "PACMAN" PACQUIAO HEHEHEHE.............joke only.....;)
Friday, August 04, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Last in Line, But Happy
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced. They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, the last guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off. Finally, God reaches the end of the line and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:
"Make 'em all ugly again".
NEXT TIME YOU'RE LAST IN LINE . . BE HAPPY
Laugh your heart out
Parishioner: Father bakit may nakasampay na daster, bra at panty sa may
kumbento? may asawa ka?
Father: Kung aasa ako sa mga donasyon nyo, di ako mabubuhay! Tumatanggap
akong labada!
_____
GF: I'm warning you! darating na si daddy within 1 hour!
BF: Eh ano ngayon? eh wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah!
GF: Kaya nga! kung may plano ka, DALIAN MO NA!!
_____
Nun: I was raped... what shall i do?
Mother Superior: Hir, take this calamansi.
Nun: wil ds ease d pain?
Mother Superior: sipsipin mo! ng mawala ngiti sa mukha mo , Bwiset!!!
_____
Nay? bakit po VICTORIA ang name ni ate?
Kasi anak dun namin siya ginawa ng itay mo...
Eh bakit si kuya, ANITO?
Ay, tumigil ka na nga Luneta at baka mapalo kita! tawagin mo na si kuya FX
mo!
_____
HONEYMOON:
Wife: Hon wag mo ako bibiglain ha? I'm still a virgin
Husband: You mean ako ang una?
Wife: Yes, do it na
Husband: I did it na, kanina pa!!
Wife: ah ganon ba? Aray pala
_____
Ama: Buntis anak ko, panagutan mo!
BF: May asawa na po ako!
Ama: Pano 'to?
BF: Areglo na lang po... 2 M pag Boy, 2.5M pag Girl
Ama: Ok, pero pag nakunan. GIB HER ANADER CHANS ha?
_____
Maid: Sir sinong mas yummy? si mam ba o ako?
Sir: Syempre naman ikaw day! bakit?
Maid: Naguguluhan lang po kasi ako eh... sabi kasi ng driver, eh mas yummy
daw talaga si mam!
_____
Wife: Dear, ano reglamo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa...
Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh! sa 50th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Susunduin na kita!
_____
BUS HINOLDAP!
Holdaper: re-reypin ko lahat ng babae dito!
Prosti: ako na lang po, maawa kayo sa iba..
Lola: Sinabi na ngang LAHAT eh! sasagot pa! gagang 'to!
_____
Dalawang probinsyano sumakay sa elevator
Gorio: magkano ibabayad natin?
Andoy: tanga! inosente! bugok! stupid! bat ka magbabayad eh wala pa tayong
tiket!
_____
Pedro bumps a foreigner
Pedro: ay sori
Foreigner: sorry too
Pedro: sori 3
Foreigner: what are you sorry for?
Pedro: (kala mo bobo ako ha!) sori 5
Foreigner: i think you are sick!
Pedro: hahahaha! sick daw, seven sunod!
_____
Pedro: Pare bakit malungkot ka?
Juan: Asawa ko nag hire ng driver, Gwapo, Bata, Macho!
Pedro: Nagseselos ka?
Juan: Nagtataka lang ako kasi wala kaming sasakyan!
_____
Anak: Itay, bibili ako ng b o nd paper
Itay: Anak, wag kang bobo ha? hindi "b o nd paper" ang tawag dun!
Anak: Ano po ba?
Itay: "Kokongban"
_____
Women are physically stronger than men...
Why?
Because women can carry two mountains at a time!
while men can carry only two eggs...
Take Note!
with the help of a bird pa!
_____
Madre: Father, tell your seminarian not to urinate along the fence...
Father: Sister naman, maliit na bagay lang papansinin mo pa...
Madre: No Malalaki, Father.. Malalaki!Shocked
____
Alam mo ba kung bakit may sabaw ang balot?
Kung Ikaw kaya ang ikulong sa shell... saan ka ji-jingle?
Aber?
Saan??
Sumagot kaaaa!!!
SaaaAANNNNNNN ?!?!?! Angry
_____
Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na, "ano ang plano
mong itanim sa sakahan mo anak?"
Anak: flowers papa! lots of Bongacious Flowers!!Big Smile
____
Ama: Hoy! Huwag kang babakla bakla ha?
Anak: Hindi po Itay, pupunta nga ako ng basketbolan eh!
Ama: Yan! Astig!
Anak: Inay? nakita mo yung POMPOMS ko?
Ina: Alin? yung pink? Wink
_____
Misis: " Sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mister ko kasi dinala Niya ang
limang anak namin."
Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"
Misis: " Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa Iyo diyan!"
_____
Juan: San ka galing?
Pedro: sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.
Juan: E bakit puro kamot ang mukha at braso mo?
Pedro: Mahirap ilibing eh... Lumalaban!!
_____
Two nurses on duty...
Nurse 1: Hoy! Gaga, bakit may thermometer sa tenga mo!
Nurse 2: Ha? susmaryosep! kaninong pwet ko kaya naiwan yung ballpen
ko!!Shocked
_____
kumbento? may asawa ka?
Father: Kung aasa ako sa mga donasyon nyo, di ako mabubuhay! Tumatanggap
akong labada!
_____
GF: I'm warning you! darating na si daddy within 1 hour!
BF: Eh ano ngayon? eh wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah!
GF: Kaya nga! kung may plano ka, DALIAN MO NA!!
_____
Nun: I was raped... what shall i do?
Mother Superior: Hir, take this calamansi.
Nun: wil ds ease d pain?
Mother Superior: sipsipin mo! ng mawala ngiti sa mukha mo , Bwiset!!!
_____
Nay? bakit po VICTORIA ang name ni ate?
Kasi anak dun namin siya ginawa ng itay mo...
Eh bakit si kuya, ANITO?
Ay, tumigil ka na nga Luneta at baka mapalo kita! tawagin mo na si kuya FX
mo!
_____
HONEYMOON:
Wife: Hon wag mo ako bibiglain ha? I'm still a virgin
Husband: You mean ako ang una?
Wife: Yes, do it na
Husband: I did it na, kanina pa!!
Wife: ah ganon ba? Aray pala
_____
Ama: Buntis anak ko, panagutan mo!
BF: May asawa na po ako!
Ama: Pano 'to?
BF: Areglo na lang po... 2 M pag Boy, 2.5M pag Girl
Ama: Ok, pero pag nakunan. GIB HER ANADER CHANS ha?
_____
Maid: Sir sinong mas yummy? si mam ba o ako?
Sir: Syempre naman ikaw day! bakit?
Maid: Naguguluhan lang po kasi ako eh... sabi kasi ng driver, eh mas yummy
daw talaga si mam!
_____
Wife: Dear, ano reglamo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa...
Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh! sa 50th Anniversary natin?
Husband: Susunduin na kita!
_____
BUS HINOLDAP!
Holdaper: re-reypin ko lahat ng babae dito!
Prosti: ako na lang po, maawa kayo sa iba..
Lola: Sinabi na ngang LAHAT eh! sasagot pa! gagang 'to!
_____
Dalawang probinsyano sumakay sa elevator
Gorio: magkano ibabayad natin?
Andoy: tanga! inosente! bugok! stupid! bat ka magbabayad eh wala pa tayong
tiket!
_____
Pedro bumps a foreigner
Pedro: ay sori
Foreigner: sorry too
Pedro: sori 3
Foreigner: what are you sorry for?
Pedro: (kala mo bobo ako ha!) sori 5
Foreigner: i think you are sick!
Pedro: hahahaha! sick daw, seven sunod!
_____
Pedro: Pare bakit malungkot ka?
Juan: Asawa ko nag hire ng driver, Gwapo, Bata, Macho!
Pedro: Nagseselos ka?
Juan: Nagtataka lang ako kasi wala kaming sasakyan!
_____
Anak: Itay, bibili ako ng b o nd paper
Itay: Anak, wag kang bobo ha? hindi "b o nd paper" ang tawag dun!
Anak: Ano po ba?
Itay: "Kokongban"
_____
Women are physically stronger than men...
Why?
Because women can carry two mountains at a time!
while men can carry only two eggs...
Take Note!
with the help of a bird pa!
_____
Madre: Father, tell your seminarian not to urinate along the fence...
Father: Sister naman, maliit na bagay lang papansinin mo pa...
Madre: No Malalaki, Father.. Malalaki!Shocked
____
Alam mo ba kung bakit may sabaw ang balot?
Kung Ikaw kaya ang ikulong sa shell... saan ka ji-jingle?
Aber?
Saan??
Sumagot kaaaa!!!
SaaaAANNNNNNN ?!?!?! Angry
_____
Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na, "ano ang plano
mong itanim sa sakahan mo anak?"
Anak: flowers papa! lots of Bongacious Flowers!!Big Smile
____
Ama: Hoy! Huwag kang babakla bakla ha?
Anak: Hindi po Itay, pupunta nga ako ng basketbolan eh!
Ama: Yan! Astig!
Anak: Inay? nakita mo yung POMPOMS ko?
Ina: Alin? yung pink? Wink
_____
Misis: " Sir, mananawagan po sana ako sa mister ko kasi dinala Niya ang
limang anak namin."
Radio Host: " Ok, go ahead!"
Misis: " Honey, ibalik mo na ang mga bata, isa lang naman ang sa Iyo diyan!"
_____
Juan: San ka galing?
Pedro: sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.
Juan: E bakit puro kamot ang mukha at braso mo?
Pedro: Mahirap ilibing eh... Lumalaban!!
_____
Two nurses on duty...
Nurse 1: Hoy! Gaga, bakit may thermometer sa tenga mo!
Nurse 2: Ha? susmaryosep! kaninong pwet ko kaya naiwan yung ballpen
ko!!Shocked
_____
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Mga Kasabihang binago ng panahon... :)
Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan... sapul!
Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.
Ang buhay ay parang bato, it's hard.
Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin... may utang.
Ang taong nagigipit...sa bumbay kumakapit.
Pag may usok...may nag-iihaw.
Dont judge the book by its cover... if u are not a judge or else
you will cover the book!
No guts, no glory... no ID, no entry.
Birds of the same feather that prays together... stays together.
Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.
Ang taong di marunong lumingon sa kanyang pinanggalingan .... ay may stiff neck.
Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.
Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga.
Kapag may taga, may tahi.
Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.
To err is human, to errs is humans.
Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment.
Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.
Better late than later...
Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay kubo, sa paligid puno ng linga.
Ang sakit ng kalingkingan, kailangan ng Alaxan.
Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!
Better late than pregnant - eto ang dapat motto ng kabataan ngayon.
Behind the clouds are the other clouds.
Aanhin pa ang damo.. kung bato na ang uso!
Its better to cheat than to repeat!
Do unto others... then run!!!
Pag di ukol, di bubukol...siya ay baog!
Kung may isinuksok, may mabubuntis!
Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.
Magbiro ka na sa lasing, Magbiro ka na sa bagong gising,'wag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.
When all else fails, follow instructions.
No man is an island because time is gold- ka praning to...
An apple a day.. is too expensive.
An apple a day, makes seven apples a week.
An apple a day cannot be an orange a day.
Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto.. muta lang yan.
kapag ang puno mabunga...mataba ang lupa!
When it rains . . . it floods.
Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon ..mauubusan din ng kandila.
Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw minsan
nasa....vulcanizing shop.
Pag may isinuksok, may ipuputok.
Pag may isinuksok, isuksok mo pa, harder!
Try and try until you succeed... or else try another.
Ako ang nagsaing... iba ang kumain. diet ako eh.
Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga mo ay itik.
Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago.
Pag may tyaga.. goodluck.
If you can't beat them, shoot them.
Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.
Ang buhay ay parang bato, it's hard.
Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin... may utang.
Ang taong nagigipit...sa bumbay kumakapit.
Pag may usok...may nag-iihaw.
Dont judge the book by its cover... if u are not a judge or else
you will cover the book!
No guts, no glory... no ID, no entry.
Birds of the same feather that prays together... stays together.
Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.
Ang taong di marunong lumingon sa kanyang pinanggalingan .... ay may stiff neck.
Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.
Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga.
Kapag may taga, may tahi.
Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.
To err is human, to errs is humans.
Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment.
Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.
Better late than later...
Aanhin ang palasyo kung ang nakatira ay kuwago, mabuti pa ang bahay kubo, sa paligid puno ng linga.
Ang sakit ng kalingkingan, kailangan ng Alaxan.
Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!
Better late than pregnant - eto ang dapat motto ng kabataan ngayon.
Behind the clouds are the other clouds.
Aanhin pa ang damo.. kung bato na ang uso!
Its better to cheat than to repeat!
Do unto others... then run!!!
Pag di ukol, di bubukol...siya ay baog!
Kung may isinuksok, may mabubuntis!
Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.
Magbiro ka na sa lasing, Magbiro ka na sa bagong gising,'wag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.
When all else fails, follow instructions.
No man is an island because time is gold- ka praning to...
An apple a day.. is too expensive.
An apple a day, makes seven apples a week.
An apple a day cannot be an orange a day.
Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto.. muta lang yan.
kapag ang puno mabunga...mataba ang lupa!
When it rains . . . it floods.
Pagkahaba haba man ng prusisyon ..mauubusan din ng kandila.
Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw minsan
nasa....vulcanizing shop.
Pag may isinuksok, may ipuputok.
Pag may isinuksok, isuksok mo pa, harder!
Try and try until you succeed... or else try another.
Ako ang nagsaing... iba ang kumain. diet ako eh.
Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga mo ay itik.
Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago.
Pag may tyaga.. goodluck.
If you can't beat them, shoot them.
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